BREATHE. UNCLENCH. RISE UP.
A BUTT PLUG WITH A CALLING
Getting fucked by late-stage capitalism sure is tiring. Rocketing utilities, ballooning rents, looming recessions, ecological collapse, an inescapable wage-treadmill and toxic bosses.
We say, why fight it when you can learn to enjoy it? Maybe, loosen up a little?
Transform that despair of being systemically DOMINATED into ecstatic carnal pleasure with London's most iconic temple to greed now recast into the luxurious butt plug it was born to be.
WE NEED TO ENGAGE IN A PHYSICAL PRACTICE THAT WILL PENETRATE DEEP WITHIN US THE JOY OF BEING FINANCIALLY, POLITICALLY AND SPIRITUALLY POUNDED. WORKERS OF THE WORLD, UNCLENCH! ITS TIME TO TAKE THE POWER BACK AND FUCK OURSELVES.
GENUINE OPULENCE. ARTIFICIAL SCARCITY
It's time to be selfish. There's simply not enough to go around for everyone.
Only one thousand Launch Edition Jherkins will ever be created. Rarer than a diamond and far more comfortable if stuck up your hoo-haa. There's no time to wait - order now. Quickly, before the boss comes back.