SPREAD THE JOY. THEN SPREAD THOSE BUTT CHEEKS
Don't be selfish. Share that feeling of being absolutely railed 5 days a week 9am - 5pm, with your favourite boss, colleague or client. Show them you care by anonymously gifting them the perfect stocking-filler surprise for Q1.
A Talisman for Transmutation
Your days on this earth are so limited and yet here you are wasting them on Zoom meetings. Don't let the despair overwhelm you. Reconnect the sensation of capitalism throbbing away inside of you with the indulgent delights of rear entrance fun.
Internalise an Icon
An "exemplar of sustainability, wellbeing and innovation"?
Or a massive phallus hiding in plain sight?
Who knows - but how could you resist the urge to slide this perfect metaphor for late-stage capitalism into your butthole?
A Collectible of a Lifetime
As we hurtle headlong into deepening economic and social inequality with an untouchable financial aristocracy not seen since the worst days of the industrial revolution, your anus has never been more ready for the Jherkin's tender embrace.